Still Struggling.

Wow, I haven't written in so long...
There hasn't been too many good things going on lately; I'm still doing DXM, stealing, etc. I can't hang out with my cousin because, supposedly, when we're together we're bad. Life is just going all wrong and I don't know how to make things better. I keep saying I'm sorry for what I've done but I know I don't mean it. I want to stop doing all the bad things but it's hard. I can't see me not doing drugs. I just know I would feel incomplete; I wouldn't know what to do with myself. Life would suck more than it does now.
Usually people say that drug users need a wake-up call to stop doing drugs; the thing is, I've had my wake-up call. One being I almost died; but I'm not going to explain that; there's a lot to it. My other wake-up call has been being shut-off from my cousin. That sucks a lot because we are so close. I'm also never going to get my parent's trust back because they've given me trust so many times but I keep breaking it. So now I have no idea how I would be able to get their trust back.
I don't know... I'm just really confused and I don't know how to make anything better. I do see a therapist but therapy never helps me. Whatever.
xx

November 4, 2008
10:00 am.