Thanksgiving.

Happy [vegetarian] Turkey Day. haha. Yeah, you should all go vegetarian and not eat those poor little turkeys; they didn't do anything to you. So, leave them alone...
Anyway, have a good Thanksgiving.
www.goveg.com
www.peta.org
=]

Rant about skinny people.

I hate girls who act like they're fat when they know they aren't. I hate when skinny girls go on some crazy crash diet & are proud of it. "Like OMG I just threw up my dinner! Yay!" Ugh! I want to fucking punch them in the face. Who fucking brags about throwing up your food or not eating?! That's pathetic. I just want to smack them and say "You're NOT fat!" because those skinny little bitches don't know what it's like to be fat. Look at me! I'm FAT! Yeah, so they make me sick! They probably know that they're NOT fat. They probably go on some extreme diet to feel cool! Well, bitch guess what?! It's NOT cool! There's nothing cool about throwing up your food. REALITY CHECK: That's NOT cool, that's sick! & then I think to myself "If they think they're fat they must think I'm a whale!" and that hurts. Skinny people think they're better than fat people, but, it's not true. We're all the same.
Oh, and I have MAJOR body-image issues but you don't see me throwing up or not eating. Yeah, I may cut myself but at least I'm not doing it for attention! Ha!
& now my head is clear again...

My family's drama.

I haven't cut in awhile and I can feel myself wanting to soo bad. Life's going all wrong and I don't know how to fix it. My mom and dad fighting non-stop is really bothering me. God, what I wouldn't do for a trip! Maybe tonight, maybe tonight. I just feel like I need to leave my stupid home & stupid family & put all of their stuid shit behind. My parents suck at life; they can't even support their children. I really feel like I can't do this anymore; I feel myself falling apart. I need to just relieve my internal pain and replace it with external pain. I can't do this. It's too hard to live. I am so depressed and, frankly, I don't think my parents care. I can't stand the constant fighting, lying, name-calling, drama, etc. My mom & dad can kiss my ass for all I care. They need to stop! They're acting like 7 years olds. Gimme a break; get over yourselves, mom and dad.
Whatever.
Razor blade... here I come!
xx

Goodbye Cruel World.

Ha. This is one of my favorite pictures. It is so funny & cute!

How I feel...

Still Struggling.

Wow, I haven't written in so long...
There hasn't been too many good things going on lately; I'm still doing DXM, stealing, etc. I can't hang out with my cousin because, supposedly, when we're together we're bad. Life is just going all wrong and I don't know how to make things better. I keep saying I'm sorry for what I've done but I know I don't mean it. I want to stop doing all the bad things but it's hard. I can't see me not doing drugs. I just know I would feel incomplete; I wouldn't know what to do with myself. Life would suck more than it does now.
Usually people say that drug users need a wake-up call to stop doing drugs; the thing is, I've had my wake-up call. One being I almost died; but I'm not going to explain that; there's a lot to it. My other wake-up call has been being shut-off from my cousin. That sucks a lot because we are so close. I'm also never going to get my parent's trust back because they've given me trust so many times but I keep breaking it. So now I have no idea how I would be able to get their trust back.
I don't know... I'm just really confused and I don't know how to make anything better. I do see a therapist but therapy never helps me. Whatever.
xx

November 4, 2008
10:00 am.